lately: don't sweat the small stuff

Over the past several years, I have struggled with deciding whether to pursue Nursing or something English related. It's been extremely difficult for me because I can see myself enjoying both professions. Within the past couple of weeks, however, God has been clearly opening some doors and closing others with His perfectly orchestrated timing. I will describe two such experiences for you.

First, I have been blessed with the wonderful opportunity of volunteering at the Women's Hope Clinic in Auburn. The nurse that I work under is actually from a town very close to where my parents live in England (small world, huh?) so I have really enjoyed working with her. Through my interactions with the nurses and clients there, I have felt the Lord placing a desire in my heart to work with soon-to-be mothers and their families. I've always thought I wanted to work with children, but being able to hear some of these women at the clinic tell their stories, admit their fears, and seek guidance & support from the nurses has touched my heart in a way I cannot explain. I have seen the desperation in their eyes and want more than anything to tell them how much their Father loves them and their unborn child. I'm certainly open to exploring other areas, but this experience has definitely been a rewarding one that I hope to pursue further. The thought also crossed my mind one day while at volunteering that I could take my experiences with my patients one day and use them to write a sort of devotional or book of encouragement. MAYBE. This has been the first time I have ever felt the desire to really write anything at that caliber so I feel like that was a direct thought from the Lord and am definitely willing to see where He takes me with it. Opening of door #1: a way to be a nurse and keep my love for English & writing alive.

Second, I recently applied for a job at the Writing Center on Auburn's campus. The job includes helping other students with any kind of writing assignment, giving presentations on the Writing Center to classes, and sometimes attending writing conferences. The interview was 15 minutes of the coordinator and two current tutors asking me non-stop questions. The very first question one of them asked me was this: "I see on your application that you are a Pre-Nursing major but your favorite subject is English. Why did you choose Nursing?" I couldn't help but laugh a little. Believe me, I've wondered the same thing...

I answered honestly, though. I explained that although I could see myself doing both, I would rather pursue Nursing first and then come back to English if I wanted to rather than go with English and try to apply to Nursing School later. Nursing is just too competitive to try to pick up late, in my opinion. They seemed pleased with this answer and interested in all the things I said.

Or so I thought.

I received an e-mail yesterday afternoon that I was not offered the position. I had tried to prepare myself for not getting the job, but it was still a little upsetting. Next semester was the only chance I had to attempt to get a job and the "dream job," in my mind, didn't take me. Closing of door #2: opportunity to pursue an English related career.

Now, I'm very aware that they only had 3 or 4 spots available for the job and probably many more people apply than I realize or they were just looking for English related majors. I'm also aware that this was no surprise to the Lord. If He had wanted me to get the job, He would have made a way, and I'm sure of it.  As I've thought about this situation more and more, I've just had a peace in my heart that He absolutely intended for these circumstances to happen and for me to put my faith in Him. Although I sometimes don't understand what He's doing, I know He intends it for my good and His glory.

At a Monday Night Bible Study this semester, the college women's director, Jenn, said something that I will probably never forget. We have been studying Ephesians this semester and this particular night was focused on Ephesians 1:3-14. Verses 11 and 12 say, "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." Jenn talked about how often we hear people say, "gosh, I wonder what the Lord's will is for my life..." (guilty). The answer to this question should be clear in these verses. The Lord's purpose for our lives is that we would bring him glory in whatever we do. Jenn summed it up like this, "Give God the glory in everything you do. Don't sweat the small stuff." If anything the Lord has been teaching me has ever hit me smack in the face harder than that did, I don't remember it.

I find myself making too many plans, filling in my time with things that I think I need to do right now that I really need to be handing over to the Lord to be taken care of in His time. These experiences have taught me that if I humble myself and patiently wait on the Lord, then His perfect plan will unfold. Being patient is one of my biggest troubles in today's society filled with instant gratification. iPhones, internet, and social media that allows us to be updated on one another's lives at every minute of every day. Sometimes I act like the Lord should be answering my questions as quickly as my friends can send me a text message. These experiences have clearly taught me that I cannot expect instant answers from the Lord, especially if I want His plan to work out exactly as He intends it to.

So that pretty much sums up what's been going on in my life lately. I am still trying to patiently humble myself to His will and surrender my plans to Him, which will be an ongoing process until my life on this earth is done. Thanks be to God for His grace and love.

Grace and Peace.

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but the Lord's purpose will prevail." Proverbs 19:21

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Psalms 42:5-6a

"I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps." Jeremiah 10:23

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." Psalms 37:5-7a