Wednesday, May 18, 2011

bittersweet

I'm sitting at home, looking out the window and the beautiful day the Lord has made, and thinking about how blessed I am. I just officially finished high school and that is certainly a bittersweet thought.

Bitter --
  • knowing I will be separated from many of my close friends who will not be joining me at Auburn next year 
  • knowing I only have 2 and 1/2 months left with my family at "home". By this, and I'm really not trying to feel sorry for myself because I am definitely blessed with many friends and family members who will be here for me when I leave, but I mean I will not truly be able to come "home" to my mom, dad, and brother again. not for the weekends, not for Thanksgiving. with them being in England for 3 years and not knowing where they will be afterwards, that means I will see them on my Christmas and summer breaks and who knows when else my senior year of college but then I will graduate and be independent... 
  • coming to terms with reality that my childhood really is about to end

Sweet ---
  • knowing I will still see several of my friends at Auburn next year and have the ability to visit the ones who aren't
  • knowing I can visit my family on Christmas and summer breaks (best vacation EVER!) and grow even closer to my family members in the states
  • making new friends and growing closer to the Lord as I transition to college
  • NO SUMMER WORK for the first time in 3 years...PRAISE HIM FOR A REAL BREAK!!!!

I really have to make it clear that I am very excited about the opportunity my family has been given to go to England. The reality is just that it's hard. I don't want to pretend that I'm completely okay with it or that I will be completely okay when they leave. I know it'll be hard. However, I cling to the hope of my faithful best friend, Jesus Christ, to help me through it all. I know that whenever I'm needing a good cry with my mom, He'll be there. Whenever I need a big hug from my dad, He'll be there. Whenever I need a good laugh with my brother, He'll be there. I know that God has given us this opportunity to trust in Him more for guidance and strength and I'm hoping I will take advantage of this chance to fully rely on Him for the strength I know I will HAVE to have and can only get from Him.

For now, I am just thankful for this beautiful day and for 2 and 1/2 more months of taking each day one day at a time, not letting a single one pass by too quickly. 

Thank you for all of the encouragement and prayers. Even though I've had at least 30 people tell me if I ever need anything to let them know, and some people would think nothing of it, every single offer has meant SO much to me and I really appreciate it. 

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:1-2

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7

Grace and Peace.