Friday, April 15, 2011

looking back and forward

Recently we've been going through cabinets and closets in our house trying to organize and clean them, which has been quite an adventure to say the least. For instance, last week when I was going through old Disney movies that I watched over and over and OVER again as a kid, I actually started crying...the reality of growing up started to hit me hard. (I know, pitiful, but I love my Disney movies!)
Well tonight my mom decided to pull out some old home videos she'd been transferring from VHS to DVD on this recording VCR we have and I got to "go back" and see Christmas at age 3 and 4, all the times my mother asked me to sing Jesus Loves Me or other random songs (and I would typically refuse unless I was really in the mood to sing, and even then I really only sang what I wanted, not what she asked), a couple of birthday parties, and some other memorable moments, such as two snow days we apparently had two different years in Florence (somehow forgot about that one...). One of the things she recorded was just a regular old day in May when we had my grandparents (Mom's side) over along with my great-grandmother. I was playing baseball (if that's what you even call it...I mean I was 3 so I was only carelessly swinging the bat and occasionally hitting the ball so everyone in my family could cheer for my great "accomplishment") and my grandfather was pitching, my dad was catching, and my grandmother and great-grandmother were watching while my mom was recording the video. Even though it was probably the simplest most random thing my mom recorded in the whole video, it touched me the most to watch. Just seeing all of us together, including my great-grandmother who passed away not too long ago, was pretty emotional for me. We all looked so different and it was neat to just see us all smiling, having a good time together. It made me wish for those simple days again, of being a little kid, but even more than that, it just made me thankful for the love in my family and the faith that we have to know God is working out everything for our good. This is especially evident in remembering my great-grandmother, knowing she's up in heaven with Jesus, watching over us. Looking back, it's really cool to see where God put us and how He has led us through every step in our lives. All the way from Florence to Birmingham, England.


We sang this song during Wednesday night worship this week and every time I hear it, I think about our family. This week I just listened to every word and let the reality of the lyrics sink in, because this song is  so applicable to me and my family right now...


Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow



--Chris Tomlin


Did you notice all of those responses were not little unsure statements but strong, obedient ones? I will go, I will stay, I will move, I will follow you.


Honestly making those words become real is hard. That's where I am right now. Asking myself if I really will go wherever God asks me too, if I will really live for Him alone and serve Him even if it means denying myself and taking up Jesus' cross daily. 


This isn't just a simple checklist kind of commitment. It's one for a lifetime. And I'm working on it. 


"But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children - with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts."  
-Psalm 103:17-18


"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." -Proverbs 16:3


Grace and Peace.

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