It has been way too long since I've written a blog post...my excuse basically is when I do think of something to write about, I don't have time to write a post or when I do have time to write a post, I'm usually too exhausted to think of something worth writing about. Thankfully I have the time to write this post and I know I need to write it, for me and for several of you who may need to read it.
This post is pretty much going to be me pouring out my heart about my life, what I'm going through and what God is teaching me so...here it goes.
Here's the truth of it:
College. Is. Hard.
It doesn't matter how many AP classes you take, how much you think you want to be out and on your own, how many friends you'll have going with you to the same college, or how prepared you think you are. The transition is HARD. I definitely didn't learn this the easy way.
The first and probably most superficial misunderstanding I had about college was that classes would be easier after the amount of work I did in high school. I took several AP courses and yes, I thankfully have background experience and former knowledge for some of the classes I am in now, but the amount of information you are expected to learn (tons) in the amount of time you have to learn it (not much) makes studying much more demanding and it has challenged me to look at how I manage my time and learn to do the best I can and rely on God for the strength I need to learn what I need to know.
The second thing I've found hard about college would probably be making intentional relationships. I didn't really see this one coming, but I've discovered I really have to remind myself to be intentional when I meet new people because sometimes I get used to having some of my old friends from high school with me (especially at the church I attend here) so when I go to an event or something where I'm not with my friends, I have to branch out. I don't really know why this is so hard for me, but it is. I guess it's because my mind is always elsewhere and I have a hard time reminding myself to really make the most of every opportunity to make new friends or be a witness, but God has really been convicting me recently that I need to be prepared every second of every day to be a witness for Him, whether it's just by saying "hello" or as much as listening to someone pour out their heart when they just need someone to listen.
The biggest thing that I'm having trouble with though would definitely have to be missing my family. I'm not trying to be "goody goody" or anything when I say this...I am completely serious. I guess around the beginning of senior year, I started looking forward to being on my own and I knew I'd be able to come home and visit and it was going to be no big deal and being independent was going to rock and it was just gonna be great. Well, about halfway through senior year we found out about my family's move to England and everything changed. At first, I was completely excited that I would be going there on vacations and things like that, but once the spring rolled around and school was almost over, I realized that everything was about to completely change. Now I already knew about the basic things that were going to change, regardless of whether my family left or not, such as no more pizza and movie nights on Fridays/Saturdays, no more nightly cups of coffee made by dad, and things like that. But then some serious reality hit me. I wasn't coming back home. At least to that house anyway. My family was leaving, I was going off to college, and I wouldn't be coming back to that house again. No weekend trips. No Thanksgiving with them. When I go back to Birmingham, I can only drive by that house, look at the swing in the front yard and remember sitting on it with my family, just enjoying being together, look at the yard that Dad worked so hard to keep clean, see the backyard where I used to watch Trey and Dad throw the baseball or football while I sat outside or did homework and realize I'm never going back. I'm never eating a family meal in that kitchen again. Never decorating my room for Christmas in that house again. I mean I hate to just list all these things and make it sound so depressing but the thing is...the reality of all these things have really hit me hard as I've come to college. I'm definitely working through them and I'm not depressed or anything, but it's really hard to watch friends go home for the weekend or school break and know they get to actually go home. I've definitely had great visits with people who I love dearly, but I've just had to pray hard for some love when it gets tough. I've had a couple of times where I literally was crying before God, sort of asking and yelling about why He would put me through something this hard, but every time I've come to Him, I've felt Him saying, "Don't you see? You're getting distracted. All these things you're missing, they're superficial. They're earthly. They pass away with time, regardless of where your family is. I'm giving you this opportunity to trust in me more. You need to rely on me. You need to give up these things you're holding on to." and I know He's got something big planned for me. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I need to be going through this to learn how to put every ounce of my being in Christ because He is the one who will NEVER leave or forsake me, will ALWAYS love me, will ALWAYS listen to me, and loved me enough to die for me.
This has been a huge reality check for me. All of these areas. And I just want to add that yes, I have seen my family and the visit was wonderful (although brief) but I'm thankful for it and I know they are where God wants them to be just as much as I am where God wants me to be. I'm just still in the stage of God teaching me what He wants me to learn from this experience.
One major thing I've been doing very recently that is immensely helping strengthen my trust in God is memorizing scripture. My sweet boyfriend sent me a link to a website earlier in the semester that has a ton of verses that directly relate to God's promises during times of stress and doubt, so I have been slowly but surely trying to memorize them all. Even if it takes all of college and even more, I'm determined to learn them because even just the first few I've memorized have been wonderful reminders for me to think about throughout the day. The first verse I looked at helped me completely change my perspective on my "sufferings":
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on the Lord because He cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power forever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:6-11.
(I will admit I had to look this up to make sure I got it all in there and remembered parts correctly. Cool thing about memorizing scripture: you can always go back a re-learn the passages for refreshing's sake and even to gain a new perspective on what the verses are saying)
This passage was perfect for this time period in my life because it starts by reminding me to BE HUMBLE! I'm not the only one on the planet going through a hard time and need to be considerate of others who are struggling as well! I also need to humble myself under God's mighty hand as a reminder that I cannot find strength to carry on on my own. I have to let Him work in me to lift me up in due time. Secondly, I have to cast all my anxiety on the Lord. I can't let my stresses bog me down. And I know I can surrender my anxieties to Christ because He loves and cares for me and wants to take care of me! I just have to give it up and let him! Next, it reminds me to be self-controlled, especially with my emotions, and to be on guard. In other words...don't get distracted! The devil wants for me to be put down in these situations. The devil wants me to give up, have a pity party, and yell at God for putting me through this. But that's because the devil knows God is trying to move in me. I have to be on guard if I want God to be the one in control of my life, not earthly distractions placed in the way by the devil. Then I'm reminded that I can stand firm in my faith because my Christian brothers and sisters are undergoing the same kind of sufferings! I'm not alone! This is why I definitely feel like spending time with Christian brothers and sisters is so important because you have the opportunity to love on each other and support one another. And then God promises that after suffering a little while, when I learn what He needed to teach me, I will be able to share with eternal glory in Christ! He will restore me, making me strong, firm and steadfast! What an incredible promise!
Even as I write this post, I am filled with hope for the future and an indescribable feeling of contentment and love that I know can only come from Christ. I am so thankful that He is challenging me to grow and that Lakeview, the church I attend in Auburn and one of the most incredible body of believers, is pouring in to me and challenging me to grow in my faith.
Also I just want to say thank you for prayers and support that I know are being lavishly poured out on me. It means so much, especially when I think about times when I've been ready to just break down but I've felt God pick me up in ways only He can.
"Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not recognize it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." -Isaiah 43:18-19.
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:2
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Grace and Peace.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
man I LOVE this band
ok so I kind of stole Mr. Horton's catch phrase and will now apply it to Auburn's band as well as Vestavia's. I'm going to try to make this blog post as short as possible so I can go to bed but I don't really know what's going to happen once I get writing (it's been a while since my last post!)
Well basically, the past couple of weeks have been REALLY intense, going through band camp and preparing the shows for football season. When camp was first starting, I was having a really hard time seeing the big picture and pushing through all of the hard work that had to take place before band could become fun. (because believe me, a total of 9 hours a day spent in the sun working on music or marching is NOT the most pleasant thing in the world). But tonight made all of the hard work worth while. The AUMB performed at a "band-o-rama" tonight where local high schools came and performed their shows for one another just to enjoy seeing some other band shows. We opened the night with our pre-game show and after all of the high schools performed we did our half-time show for them. It was exciting to do pre-game, just to hear everyone singing the cheers as we played and get excited about football season, but the absolute most amazing part of the night was doing the half-time show for them, the closer in particularly. Our show theme to open football season is based off of winning the National Championship so we start with "On to Victory, Strike Up the Band," then play the Rocky theme "Gonna Fly Now," and close with "We Are the Champions." When we play "We Are the Champions," we face the back of the field and turn around when we get to the chorus and play out (lots of fun) and when we turned around and started playing that tonight, everyone stood up to cheer and applaud. I know I should've expected the crowd's reaction, but it still made me tear up a little bit. Just remembering the first Auburn game I went to and thinking "WOW that band is amazing, it would be a dream come true to be a part of it," and to know that I'm actually a part of it now...it really is incredible. The experience of a lifetime. And now I get to be a part of the band that gave me goosebumps when I was in the audience (of course I still do get goosebumps :) ha)
Basically, I'm really thankful for the chance I've had to be in a great marching band at Vestavia and continue that experience at Auburn. A once in a lifetime opportunity that I'm SO blessed to be a part of.
praising Him for the abilities He has given me and for giving me the strength I've needed whenever I surrender to Him.
"Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil. 3:13-14
"You did awesome things that we did not expect...no ear has heard, no eye has seen any God like you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him. You come to the help of those who gladly do right, who remember your ways." Isaiah 64:3-5
Grace and Peace.
Well basically, the past couple of weeks have been REALLY intense, going through band camp and preparing the shows for football season. When camp was first starting, I was having a really hard time seeing the big picture and pushing through all of the hard work that had to take place before band could become fun. (because believe me, a total of 9 hours a day spent in the sun working on music or marching is NOT the most pleasant thing in the world). But tonight made all of the hard work worth while. The AUMB performed at a "band-o-rama" tonight where local high schools came and performed their shows for one another just to enjoy seeing some other band shows. We opened the night with our pre-game show and after all of the high schools performed we did our half-time show for them. It was exciting to do pre-game, just to hear everyone singing the cheers as we played and get excited about football season, but the absolute most amazing part of the night was doing the half-time show for them, the closer in particularly. Our show theme to open football season is based off of winning the National Championship so we start with "On to Victory, Strike Up the Band," then play the Rocky theme "Gonna Fly Now," and close with "We Are the Champions." When we play "We Are the Champions," we face the back of the field and turn around when we get to the chorus and play out (lots of fun) and when we turned around and started playing that tonight, everyone stood up to cheer and applaud. I know I should've expected the crowd's reaction, but it still made me tear up a little bit. Just remembering the first Auburn game I went to and thinking "WOW that band is amazing, it would be a dream come true to be a part of it," and to know that I'm actually a part of it now...it really is incredible. The experience of a lifetime. And now I get to be a part of the band that gave me goosebumps when I was in the audience (of course I still do get goosebumps :) ha)
Basically, I'm really thankful for the chance I've had to be in a great marching band at Vestavia and continue that experience at Auburn. A once in a lifetime opportunity that I'm SO blessed to be a part of.
praising Him for the abilities He has given me and for giving me the strength I've needed whenever I surrender to Him.
"Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil. 3:13-14
"You did awesome things that we did not expect...no ear has heard, no eye has seen any God like you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him. You come to the help of those who gladly do right, who remember your ways." Isaiah 64:3-5
Grace and Peace.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
blessings, blatant or in disguise
sometimes I forget just how blessed I am. The past few days have served as a refresher for me.
1: A clear blessing -- Both of my grandmothers have been fighting cancer for a while (one was diagnosed several months ago and the other just recently) and a few days ago, my grandmother (Dad's side, the one who was diagnosed earlier) received test results that officially said she is cancer free. Seeing both of my grandmothers deal with cancer has been pretty difficult, but deep down I knew God was watching out for them and was in control, even though it was tough to remember all the time. Knowing that He has completely healed one of my grandmothers is a huge blessing in the midst of a time of change and growth for me. Other than both of my grandmothers being sick, dealing with our family's huge move and preparing to transition to college has started to weigh down on me and having a part of those burdens lifted definitely helps.
**For those reading who have been praying for my grandmothers: I want to sincerely thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Please continue to pray for my mom's mom. God is much bigger than cancer and He hears when we call. Your support means more than you know so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
2: A not-as-clear blessing -- Yesterday I spent some time hanging out with some of my friends and we went to the thrift store, just to look around and shop for a few things. I'd never been to a thrift store and had no idea that I would actually learn some lessons while I was there. First of all, there are some nice things at the thrift store! For instance, I found two Auburn Marching Band shirts made in a material similar to Under Armour that would be used for band practice and was able to buy both for about $6. Why anyone would give those shirts up I don't know, but I'm glad I found them! As I was going through the t-shirt rack and seeing old homecoming and special event t-shirts from areas such as Hoover, Vestavia, Mountain Brook, Gardendale, Oak Mountain, and Homewood, I realized just how much we as the "over the mountain" area take for granted. Some students, whether in poorer areas in Birmingham, around the state, or across the globe, are unable to even have nice events such as prom and homecoming yet we do and seem to think it is a right we are entitled to as high school students. After reading "The Hole In Our Gospel" (which I finally finished at the beach last week), I was able to really get a glimpse of just how difficult getting an education is in poorer parts of the world. Children in Africa end up dropping out of school by 4th or 5th grade usually because they are either needed to help at home, have to help with long distance chores (going to fetch clean water, for example), or sometimes to even take care of siblings after parents die due to AIDS or other diseases. Even as I type this, my heart aches for the children I met in South Africa (who I still refer to as "my babies") who have to work hard just to make sure they stay in school while I sit in America and complain about school more often than I look forward to it and although I work hard to get good grades, I don't worry about getting through to the next grade level. My high school band director used to emphasize to us that band as a program is something to be grateful for and we owe it to the people who can't be in band (because of lack of resources or anything else) to enjoy every moment. I owe it to the children who can't continue their education to make the most of mine and give back through it. This is why my goal is to become a nurse and use nursing as a way to go on mission trips and provide health care to the poor and needy. Some people ask why God allows people to be born in rich communities or poor communities and I've begun to realize that He knows the poor will put their faith in Christ alone because they have nothing else while the rich are given resources to share and provide love and support to those in need, thus teaching the rich how to be good stewards and be faithful.
I'm sorry I've probably gone off on ten different tangents by now but seriously...God gives blessings abundantly. Just look for them, they aren't hard to find.
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." Phil. 4:12-13
"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" John 16:33
"There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land." Deuteronomy 15:11
Grace and Peace.
1: A clear blessing -- Both of my grandmothers have been fighting cancer for a while (one was diagnosed several months ago and the other just recently) and a few days ago, my grandmother (Dad's side, the one who was diagnosed earlier) received test results that officially said she is cancer free. Seeing both of my grandmothers deal with cancer has been pretty difficult, but deep down I knew God was watching out for them and was in control, even though it was tough to remember all the time. Knowing that He has completely healed one of my grandmothers is a huge blessing in the midst of a time of change and growth for me. Other than both of my grandmothers being sick, dealing with our family's huge move and preparing to transition to college has started to weigh down on me and having a part of those burdens lifted definitely helps.
**For those reading who have been praying for my grandmothers: I want to sincerely thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Please continue to pray for my mom's mom. God is much bigger than cancer and He hears when we call. Your support means more than you know so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
2: A not-as-clear blessing -- Yesterday I spent some time hanging out with some of my friends and we went to the thrift store, just to look around and shop for a few things. I'd never been to a thrift store and had no idea that I would actually learn some lessons while I was there. First of all, there are some nice things at the thrift store! For instance, I found two Auburn Marching Band shirts made in a material similar to Under Armour that would be used for band practice and was able to buy both for about $6. Why anyone would give those shirts up I don't know, but I'm glad I found them! As I was going through the t-shirt rack and seeing old homecoming and special event t-shirts from areas such as Hoover, Vestavia, Mountain Brook, Gardendale, Oak Mountain, and Homewood, I realized just how much we as the "over the mountain" area take for granted. Some students, whether in poorer areas in Birmingham, around the state, or across the globe, are unable to even have nice events such as prom and homecoming yet we do and seem to think it is a right we are entitled to as high school students. After reading "The Hole In Our Gospel" (which I finally finished at the beach last week), I was able to really get a glimpse of just how difficult getting an education is in poorer parts of the world. Children in Africa end up dropping out of school by 4th or 5th grade usually because they are either needed to help at home, have to help with long distance chores (going to fetch clean water, for example), or sometimes to even take care of siblings after parents die due to AIDS or other diseases. Even as I type this, my heart aches for the children I met in South Africa (who I still refer to as "my babies") who have to work hard just to make sure they stay in school while I sit in America and complain about school more often than I look forward to it and although I work hard to get good grades, I don't worry about getting through to the next grade level. My high school band director used to emphasize to us that band as a program is something to be grateful for and we owe it to the people who can't be in band (because of lack of resources or anything else) to enjoy every moment. I owe it to the children who can't continue their education to make the most of mine and give back through it. This is why my goal is to become a nurse and use nursing as a way to go on mission trips and provide health care to the poor and needy. Some people ask why God allows people to be born in rich communities or poor communities and I've begun to realize that He knows the poor will put their faith in Christ alone because they have nothing else while the rich are given resources to share and provide love and support to those in need, thus teaching the rich how to be good stewards and be faithful.
I'm sorry I've probably gone off on ten different tangents by now but seriously...God gives blessings abundantly. Just look for them, they aren't hard to find.
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." Phil. 4:12-13
"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" John 16:33
"There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land." Deuteronomy 15:11
Grace and Peace.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
bittersweet
I'm sitting at home, looking out the window and the beautiful day the Lord has made, and thinking about how blessed I am. I just officially finished high school and that is certainly a bittersweet thought.
Bitter --
- knowing I will be separated from many of my close friends who will not be joining me at Auburn next year
- knowing I only have 2 and 1/2 months left with my family at "home". By this, and I'm really not trying to feel sorry for myself because I am definitely blessed with many friends and family members who will be here for me when I leave, but I mean I will not truly be able to come "home" to my mom, dad, and brother again. not for the weekends, not for Thanksgiving. with them being in England for 3 years and not knowing where they will be afterwards, that means I will see them on my Christmas and summer breaks and who knows when else my senior year of college but then I will graduate and be independent...
- coming to terms with reality that my childhood really is about to end
Sweet ---
- knowing I will still see several of my friends at Auburn next year and have the ability to visit the ones who aren't
- knowing I can visit my family on Christmas and summer breaks (best vacation EVER!) and grow even closer to my family members in the states
- making new friends and growing closer to the Lord as I transition to college
- NO SUMMER WORK for the first time in 3 years...PRAISE HIM FOR A REAL BREAK!!!!
I really have to make it clear that I am very excited about the opportunity my family has been given to go to England. The reality is just that it's hard. I don't want to pretend that I'm completely okay with it or that I will be completely okay when they leave. I know it'll be hard. However, I cling to the hope of my faithful best friend, Jesus Christ, to help me through it all. I know that whenever I'm needing a good cry with my mom, He'll be there. Whenever I need a big hug from my dad, He'll be there. Whenever I need a good laugh with my brother, He'll be there. I know that God has given us this opportunity to trust in Him more for guidance and strength and I'm hoping I will take advantage of this chance to fully rely on Him for the strength I know I will HAVE to have and can only get from Him.
For now, I am just thankful for this beautiful day and for 2 and 1/2 more months of taking each day one day at a time, not letting a single one pass by too quickly.
Thank you for all of the encouragement and prayers. Even though I've had at least 30 people tell me if I ever need anything to let them know, and some people would think nothing of it, every single offer has meant SO much to me and I really appreciate it.
"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:1-2
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7
Grace and Peace.
Friday, April 15, 2011
looking back and forward
Recently we've been going through cabinets and closets in our house trying to organize and clean them, which has been quite an adventure to say the least. For instance, last week when I was going through old Disney movies that I watched over and over and OVER again as a kid, I actually started crying...the reality of growing up started to hit me hard. (I know, pitiful, but I love my Disney movies!)
Well tonight my mom decided to pull out some old home videos she'd been transferring from VHS to DVD on this recording VCR we have and I got to "go back" and see Christmas at age 3 and 4, all the times my mother asked me to sing Jesus Loves Me or other random songs (and I would typically refuse unless I was really in the mood to sing, and even then I really only sang what I wanted, not what she asked), a couple of birthday parties, and some other memorable moments, such as two snow days we apparently had two different years in Florence (somehow forgot about that one...). One of the things she recorded was just a regular old day in May when we had my grandparents (Mom's side) over along with my great-grandmother. I was playing baseball (if that's what you even call it...I mean I was 3 so I was only carelessly swinging the bat and occasionally hitting the ball so everyone in my family could cheer for my great "accomplishment") and my grandfather was pitching, my dad was catching, and my grandmother and great-grandmother were watching while my mom was recording the video. Even though it was probably the simplest most random thing my mom recorded in the whole video, it touched me the most to watch. Just seeing all of us together, including my great-grandmother who passed away not too long ago, was pretty emotional for me. We all looked so different and it was neat to just see us all smiling, having a good time together. It made me wish for those simple days again, of being a little kid, but even more than that, it just made me thankful for the love in my family and the faith that we have to know God is working out everything for our good. This is especially evident in remembering my great-grandmother, knowing she's up in heaven with Jesus, watching over us. Looking back, it's really cool to see where God put us and how He has led us through every step in our lives. All the way from Florence to Birmingham, England.
We sang this song during Wednesday night worship this week and every time I hear it, I think about our family. This week I just listened to every word and let the reality of the lyrics sink in, because this song is so applicable to me and my family right now...
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...
All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you
Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone
In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow
--Chris Tomlin
Did you notice all of those responses were not little unsure statements but strong, obedient ones? I will go, I will stay, I will move, I will follow you.
Honestly making those words become real is hard. That's where I am right now. Asking myself if I really will go wherever God asks me too, if I will really live for Him alone and serve Him even if it means denying myself and taking up Jesus' cross daily.
This isn't just a simple checklist kind of commitment. It's one for a lifetime. And I'm working on it.
"But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children - with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts."
-Psalm 103:17-18
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." -Proverbs 16:3
Grace and Peace.
Well tonight my mom decided to pull out some old home videos she'd been transferring from VHS to DVD on this recording VCR we have and I got to "go back" and see Christmas at age 3 and 4, all the times my mother asked me to sing Jesus Loves Me or other random songs (and I would typically refuse unless I was really in the mood to sing, and even then I really only sang what I wanted, not what she asked), a couple of birthday parties, and some other memorable moments, such as two snow days we apparently had two different years in Florence (somehow forgot about that one...). One of the things she recorded was just a regular old day in May when we had my grandparents (Mom's side) over along with my great-grandmother. I was playing baseball (if that's what you even call it...I mean I was 3 so I was only carelessly swinging the bat and occasionally hitting the ball so everyone in my family could cheer for my great "accomplishment") and my grandfather was pitching, my dad was catching, and my grandmother and great-grandmother were watching while my mom was recording the video. Even though it was probably the simplest most random thing my mom recorded in the whole video, it touched me the most to watch. Just seeing all of us together, including my great-grandmother who passed away not too long ago, was pretty emotional for me. We all looked so different and it was neat to just see us all smiling, having a good time together. It made me wish for those simple days again, of being a little kid, but even more than that, it just made me thankful for the love in my family and the faith that we have to know God is working out everything for our good. This is especially evident in remembering my great-grandmother, knowing she's up in heaven with Jesus, watching over us. Looking back, it's really cool to see where God put us and how He has led us through every step in our lives. All the way from Florence to Birmingham, England.
We sang this song during Wednesday night worship this week and every time I hear it, I think about our family. This week I just listened to every word and let the reality of the lyrics sink in, because this song is so applicable to me and my family right now...
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...
All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you
Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone
In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow
--Chris Tomlin
Did you notice all of those responses were not little unsure statements but strong, obedient ones? I will go, I will stay, I will move, I will follow you.
Honestly making those words become real is hard. That's where I am right now. Asking myself if I really will go wherever God asks me too, if I will really live for Him alone and serve Him even if it means denying myself and taking up Jesus' cross daily.
This isn't just a simple checklist kind of commitment. It's one for a lifetime. And I'm working on it.
"But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children - with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts."
-Psalm 103:17-18
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." -Proverbs 16:3
Grace and Peace.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
finally, to let the world know
Hello, all. I'm sure some of you have heard that something big has been going on in my family and if you have, you've heard correctly. For those of you who go to Shades, you may remember that during Sunday morning's message, Pastor Danny talked about 3 different families he knows who are seeking God's guidance in working overseas. Well...my family is one of them!
About 6 months ago, my dad was informed that his company wanted to promote him. Not just any regular promotion, but one that would require moving to the United Kingdom. More specifically, to Birmingham, England. (ironic place, huh? from Birmingham to Birmingham)
Well naturally he was completely blown away and kept praying that God would lead the way if this was the right decision. Only my mom and dad knew about this until this February, when they told me and my brother. We had to keep it a secret until we were approved by the UK government, which has been harder than you can possibly imagine, but has ended up being one of the most rewarding experiences in bringing me closer to God and closer to my family. There have been times of excitement, times of tears. Realizations of new experiences and adventures that await us, and realizations of things that will be difficult to leave behind. (I am still going to Auburn this fall by the way, so I will only be going over during my vacation times when I go "home")
We have faced many obstacles in getting through this process. Our paperwork was actually declined earlier this week for getting into the UK, but because God is in control, it turned out to be a mix-up and we are still on board to be approved in 4 weeks. Countless situations have come up where we have clearly seen God working and we, as a family, know that this is where God is leading us.
I actually knew about this while I was in South Africa for spring break and this really taught me to go to God about EVERYTHING, seeking His guidance first and foremost in my life.
This opportunity has been the biggest blessing for my family and I am thrilled to see how God will continue to use this in our lives. Although this is of course for my dad's job, my family sees it as a great missions opportunity and we are looking forward to seeing how we are able to be a part of God's work LITERALLY around the world!
I am so thankful for all the love and support from our friends and family...I really cannot thank you enough for all that you do!
I know you are probably experiencing mixed emotions, I know I did, so please 1) ask me any questions about anything you may need clarified or are just curious about and 2) pray and seek understanding from God if you are overwhelmed. Believe me, it will bring you closer to Him than you would've thought possible.
"But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." - 1 Peter 3:15-16
"But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O Lord; you cover him with favor as with a shield." - Psalm 5:11-12
Grace and Peace.
About 6 months ago, my dad was informed that his company wanted to promote him. Not just any regular promotion, but one that would require moving to the United Kingdom. More specifically, to Birmingham, England. (ironic place, huh? from Birmingham to Birmingham)
Well naturally he was completely blown away and kept praying that God would lead the way if this was the right decision. Only my mom and dad knew about this until this February, when they told me and my brother. We had to keep it a secret until we were approved by the UK government, which has been harder than you can possibly imagine, but has ended up being one of the most rewarding experiences in bringing me closer to God and closer to my family. There have been times of excitement, times of tears. Realizations of new experiences and adventures that await us, and realizations of things that will be difficult to leave behind. (I am still going to Auburn this fall by the way, so I will only be going over during my vacation times when I go "home")
We have faced many obstacles in getting through this process. Our paperwork was actually declined earlier this week for getting into the UK, but because God is in control, it turned out to be a mix-up and we are still on board to be approved in 4 weeks. Countless situations have come up where we have clearly seen God working and we, as a family, know that this is where God is leading us.
I actually knew about this while I was in South Africa for spring break and this really taught me to go to God about EVERYTHING, seeking His guidance first and foremost in my life.
This opportunity has been the biggest blessing for my family and I am thrilled to see how God will continue to use this in our lives. Although this is of course for my dad's job, my family sees it as a great missions opportunity and we are looking forward to seeing how we are able to be a part of God's work LITERALLY around the world!
I am so thankful for all the love and support from our friends and family...I really cannot thank you enough for all that you do!
I know you are probably experiencing mixed emotions, I know I did, so please 1) ask me any questions about anything you may need clarified or are just curious about and 2) pray and seek understanding from God if you are overwhelmed. Believe me, it will bring you closer to Him than you would've thought possible.
"But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." - 1 Peter 3:15-16
"But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O Lord; you cover him with favor as with a shield." - Psalm 5:11-12
Grace and Peace.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
ALL the nations will praise Him--South Africa, Day 4
Have you ever thought about how much praise goes on throughout the world on a Sunday? Think for just a minute about all the time zones and all the churches in those time zones...pretty much 24 hours straight of praise and worship to the creator of the universe occurs throughout the course of a Sunday. Is that incredible or what? I mean I know He deserves our non-stop praise all week, but to think that for basically 24 straight hours someone somewhere is singing praises or listening to a sermon or crying out to God is the coolest thing EVER.
This thought hit me in the middle of the church service in South Africa on the Sunday we were there.
The church service was certainly a different experience, but an incredible one. Capricorn Church, like I mentioned in the previous blog post, is a small container like you would use for storage. Adults, teenagers, and children all come together in this small space and praise God with all they have, which creates the most beautiful picture imaginable. Hands are raised, feet are moving, people are dancing, hearts are filled with joy...the name of Jesus is cried out, sung, praised, and held on to.
One of the songs that our team absolutely fell in love with is called Jabulani, Africa. The lyrics go like this:
Jesus life and hope
To heal our land
Savior reaching out
With your mighty hand
Sing for joy, O Africa
The Lord your God is
Risen upon you now
Jabulani Jabulani Africa
Jabulani Jabulani Africa
Jabulani Jabulani Africa
Jabulani Jabulani Africa
Jesus river of life
To our thirsty land
Savior meeting our needs
From Your mighty hand
This thought hit me in the middle of the church service in South Africa on the Sunday we were there.
The church service was certainly a different experience, but an incredible one. Capricorn Church, like I mentioned in the previous blog post, is a small container like you would use for storage. Adults, teenagers, and children all come together in this small space and praise God with all they have, which creates the most beautiful picture imaginable. Hands are raised, feet are moving, people are dancing, hearts are filled with joy...the name of Jesus is cried out, sung, praised, and held on to.
One of the songs that our team absolutely fell in love with is called Jabulani, Africa. The lyrics go like this:
Jesus life and hope
To heal our land
Savior reaching out
With your mighty hand
Sing for joy, O Africa
The Lord your God is
Risen upon you now
Jabulani Jabulani Africa
Jabulani Jabulani Africa
Jabulani Jabulani Africa
Jabulani Jabulani Africa
Jesus river of life
To our thirsty land
Savior meeting our needs
From Your mighty hand
Sing for joy, O Africa
The Lord your God is
Risen upon you now
Jabulani Jabulani Africa
Jabulani Jabulani Africa
Jabulani Jabulani Africa
Jabulani Jabulani Africa
Now I know you're wondering "What does 'Jabulani' mean??" Well, I'll just tell you :)
"Jabulani" means to bring happiness to something. So this song is basically saying "bring joy to Africa." I just love this song because when I heard the people of South Africa singing it, I could hear their earnest pleas to God, thanking him for delivering them from their suffering and praising him for giving them a living hope. I seriously am at a loss of words to describe to you just how cool it was to see the pure and passionate praise of the African people. They sing with all their hearts. They express themselves through singing, dancing, crying out, pretty much everything you can think of. I could feel God's presence in that place. The pastor was filled with the Holy Spirit when He spoke and the people hung on to every word. I get goosebumps just thinking about the experience. I truly did not want to leave once the service was over.
It is interesting though that during the service, children were running up and down the center aisle of the church, either going to their parents, going to their friends, or going outside to play. The service is relatively long (the length of our Sunday School plus the service) so it is typical for the children to go outside to play at some point during the service. But even through all of the distractions, those who wanted to listen to the sermon hung on to every word. These people REALLY care about Jesus.
Later in the day, we went up to Table Mountain, which is one of the most prominent landmarks of Cape Town. We drove up as far as we could and then rode a cable car to the top (which was a little nerve-wracking). Once on top, we could see the entire city of Cape Town, the ocean, and even some islands right off the coast of Africa. Just another reminder of how big God is and how small I am!
"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe." Proverbs 18:10
"Who will not fear you, O Lord, and bring glory to your name? For you alone are holy. All nations will come and worship before you, for your righteous acts have been revealed." Revelation 15:4
"Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples." 1 Chronicles 16:24
I'm sorry that I still feel like I am not fully able to express how incredible this trip was because it's just one of those things you HAVE to experience for yourself to fully grasp, and even then you don't grasp everything just because there is so much to learn, but I do hope that you are able to at least see a glimpse of how amazing God is through these experiences. Thank you for reading!
Grace and Peace.
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