Over the past several years, I have struggled with deciding whether to pursue Nursing or something English related. It's been extremely difficult for me because I can see myself enjoying both professions. Within the past couple of weeks, however, God has been clearly opening some doors and closing others with His perfectly orchestrated timing. I will describe two such experiences for you.
First, I have been blessed with the wonderful opportunity of volunteering at the Women's Hope Clinic in Auburn. The nurse that I work under is actually from a town very close to where my parents live in England (small world, huh?) so I have really enjoyed working with her. Through my interactions with the nurses and clients there, I have felt the Lord placing a desire in my heart to work with soon-to-be mothers and their families. I've always thought I wanted to work with children, but being able to hear some of these women at the clinic tell their stories, admit their fears, and seek guidance & support from the nurses has touched my heart in a way I cannot explain. I have seen the desperation in their eyes and want more than anything to tell them how much their Father loves them and their unborn child. I'm certainly open to exploring other areas, but this experience has definitely been a rewarding one that I hope to pursue further. The thought also crossed my mind one day while at volunteering that I could take my experiences with my patients one day and use them to write a sort of devotional or book of encouragement. MAYBE. This has been the first time I have ever felt the desire to really write anything at that caliber so I feel like that was a direct thought from the Lord and am definitely willing to see where He takes me with it. Opening of door #1: a way to be a nurse and keep my love for English & writing alive.
Second, I recently applied for a job at the Writing Center on Auburn's campus. The job includes helping other students with any kind of writing assignment, giving presentations on the Writing Center to classes, and sometimes attending writing conferences. The interview was 15 minutes of the coordinator and two current tutors asking me non-stop questions. The very first question one of them asked me was this: "I see on your application that you are a Pre-Nursing major but your favorite subject is English. Why did you choose Nursing?" I couldn't help but laugh a little. Believe me, I've wondered the same thing...
I answered honestly, though. I explained that although I could see myself doing both, I would rather pursue Nursing first and then come back to English if I wanted to rather than go with English and try to apply to Nursing School later. Nursing is just too competitive to try to pick up late, in my opinion. They seemed pleased with this answer and interested in all the things I said.
Or so I thought.
I received an e-mail yesterday afternoon that I was not offered the position. I had tried to prepare myself for not getting the job, but it was still a little upsetting. Next semester was the only chance I had to attempt to get a job and the "dream job," in my mind, didn't take me. Closing of door #2: opportunity to pursue an English related career.
Now, I'm very aware that they only had 3 or 4 spots available for the job and probably many more people apply than I realize or they were just looking for English related majors. I'm also aware that this was no surprise to the Lord. If He had wanted me to get the job, He would have made a way, and I'm sure of it. As I've thought about this situation more and more, I've just had a peace in my heart that He absolutely intended for these circumstances to happen and for me to put my faith in Him. Although I sometimes don't understand what He's doing, I know He intends it for my good and His glory.
At a Monday Night Bible Study this semester, the college women's director, Jenn, said something that I will probably never forget. We have been studying Ephesians this semester and this particular night was focused on Ephesians 1:3-14. Verses 11 and 12 say, "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." Jenn talked about how often we hear people say, "gosh, I wonder what the Lord's will is for my life..." (guilty). The answer to this question should be clear in these verses. The Lord's purpose for our lives is that we would bring him glory in whatever we do. Jenn summed it up like this, "Give God the glory in everything you do. Don't sweat the small stuff." If anything the Lord has been teaching me has ever hit me smack in the face harder than that did, I don't remember it.
I find myself making too many plans, filling in my time with things that I think I need to do right now that I really need to be handing over to the Lord to be taken care of in His time. These experiences have taught me that if I humble myself and patiently wait on the Lord, then His perfect plan will unfold. Being patient is one of my biggest troubles in today's society filled with instant gratification. iPhones, internet, and social media that allows us to be updated on one another's lives at every minute of every day. Sometimes I act like the Lord should be answering my questions as quickly as my friends can send me a text message. These experiences have clearly taught me that I cannot expect instant answers from the Lord, especially if I want His plan to work out exactly as He intends it to.
So that pretty much sums up what's been going on in my life lately. I am still trying to patiently humble myself to His will and surrender my plans to Him, which will be an ongoing process until my life on this earth is done. Thanks be to God for His grace and love.
Grace and Peace.
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but the Lord's purpose will prevail." Proverbs 19:21
"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Psalms 42:5-6a
"I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps." Jeremiah 10:23
"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." Psalms 37:5-7a
Friday, November 2, 2012
Saturday, August 4, 2012
where the heart is
Fact: This past week, I stayed in a different place each night, Monday through Friday.
I was well taken care of in each place, it's just crazy to think that sometimes I really do feel like a nomad, wandering around from place to place, searching for somewhere to call home.
I spent this past summer with my family in England and I had an absolutely wonderful time. I will admit, though, that towards the end I had my heart set on getting back to Auburn. Once I set foot on American soil, however, I was overcome by the heat and humidity, immediately ready to get right back on a one-way flight to England. In that moment, I was truly overwhelmed by the drastic differences between my life in England and what life would be like coming back to the States. As I thought about it, I realized that there are definitely things I love and don't love about each place. At the time, I did not love the rain and cold weather in England. I missed the sunshine! After getting back to the States, I was very happy to see the sun again, but realized how much I missed the cool, crisp air in the UK. When I'm in the States, I miss my family and England in general (I have to admit, I think I'm part British). When I'm in England, I miss my boyfriend, my friends, and other little things from the States (American food, Southern hospitality, etc.).
As I was thinking through this, I realized something...my heart will NEVER be completely happy anywhere that I live. I know this sounds pessimistic, but hear me out. There will always be something to enjoy in one place that you can't have in another. There will always be something that you will miss because you can't get it anywhere else. And the truth is, at least I believe it to be the truth, that God wired us to always have a longing for something more. A place in our heart that feels like something is just not quite right in making a place "home."
Because heaven is our home.
God is teaching me to be most satisfied in HIM, rather than the things of this earth, and that I will always be a wanderer in this world until He calls me home. I am definitely 100% okay with this. If I were satisfied in calling this earth "home," then what would make heaven any more appealing? God wants us to long for His glory & presence in such a way that we canNOT wait to be with Him for eternity.
So here's to those of us who will wander on this earth until our Father calls us home. Let's make the most of every opportunity we have as we travel to new places and live for the moment rather than wasting time waiting for the "what's next," whether that may be college, a move you're hoping to make in the near future, or anything else. Live for today, and give all the glory to God.
"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.'" James 4:13-15
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11 (bold emphasis mine)
Grace and Peace.
I was well taken care of in each place, it's just crazy to think that sometimes I really do feel like a nomad, wandering around from place to place, searching for somewhere to call home.
I spent this past summer with my family in England and I had an absolutely wonderful time. I will admit, though, that towards the end I had my heart set on getting back to Auburn. Once I set foot on American soil, however, I was overcome by the heat and humidity, immediately ready to get right back on a one-way flight to England. In that moment, I was truly overwhelmed by the drastic differences between my life in England and what life would be like coming back to the States. As I thought about it, I realized that there are definitely things I love and don't love about each place. At the time, I did not love the rain and cold weather in England. I missed the sunshine! After getting back to the States, I was very happy to see the sun again, but realized how much I missed the cool, crisp air in the UK. When I'm in the States, I miss my family and England in general (I have to admit, I think I'm part British). When I'm in England, I miss my boyfriend, my friends, and other little things from the States (American food, Southern hospitality, etc.).
As I was thinking through this, I realized something...my heart will NEVER be completely happy anywhere that I live. I know this sounds pessimistic, but hear me out. There will always be something to enjoy in one place that you can't have in another. There will always be something that you will miss because you can't get it anywhere else. And the truth is, at least I believe it to be the truth, that God wired us to always have a longing for something more. A place in our heart that feels like something is just not quite right in making a place "home."
Because heaven is our home.
God is teaching me to be most satisfied in HIM, rather than the things of this earth, and that I will always be a wanderer in this world until He calls me home. I am definitely 100% okay with this. If I were satisfied in calling this earth "home," then what would make heaven any more appealing? God wants us to long for His glory & presence in such a way that we canNOT wait to be with Him for eternity.
So here's to those of us who will wander on this earth until our Father calls us home. Let's make the most of every opportunity we have as we travel to new places and live for the moment rather than wasting time waiting for the "what's next," whether that may be college, a move you're hoping to make in the near future, or anything else. Live for today, and give all the glory to God.
"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.'" James 4:13-15
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11 (bold emphasis mine)
Grace and Peace.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
happy tears
I just want to begin this post by saying God is so good and He takes care of EVERYTHING in HIS time, whether we understand it or not. I am so humbled and blessed that He has taken such good care of me this semester by giving me the strength to get through my classes and the patience to stick it through to the end, so that I can now enjoy a relaxing summer break with no regrets about last semester.
Last night, I checked my Chemistry grade and saw that I made an 86 on the final! I was extremely excited already and then I scrolled up a little bit to see that the final had replaced an earlier, lower test grade and brought my class grade up to an 88, which is an A for that professor's class...I made an A in Chemistry. It still feels weird to say because I was not expecting it AT ALL...I even started crying because I was so overwhelmed when I found out! I sincerely prayed before that final that the Lord would give me peace and help me to just focus and do my best, whether that brought me to a B or C or whatever. I can't stop smiling about the fact that I KNOW the only reason I made the A was because of Him and because sweet family and friends were praying for me during my finals and He listened. Now God is still the same awesome, powerful, almighty, gracious God whether I made an A or an F, but He threw in the A because He can...ALL FOR HIS GLORY!! I'm also still laughing about the fact that my dear friend, Taylor, and I were just trying to do what our nursing advisor told us ("because you girls make such good grades, you can just get a C in Chemistry and GET OUT...") and the Lord blessed us BOTH with A's because we trusted Him to get us through! To Him be the glory 100%!!
I am so thankful for all of the support of friends and family and so thankful for my Savior's love and grace.
Grace and Peace.
Monday, January 9, 2012
because of, not in spite of
Over Christmas break, I was able to spend a week in England with my family. I've been on an airplane multiple times and can almost quote all of the safety videos, but on this trip I was intrigued by a new Delta commercial that aired before the safety video. The commercial talked about how Delta employees work hard to make Delta be a wonderful airline company because of the problems that come with the industry, not despite them. I think that's a really good way to look at things. If you have to ignore the problems that come along with a task, then you're not really enjoying it. Part of the challenge is to take a problem and solve it with enthusiasm, not frustration. I know that is a difficult thing for me a lot of times. I also definitely think I can apply this perspective to my faith in Christ. Do I love Christ because of my problems, which lead me to come to Him for help and guidance, or do I only love Christ when things are going great and ignoring Him when things aren't so great?
I definitely am going to be working harder in the coming weeks to have this outlook on the situations I encounter, especially as classes get going and assignments become difficult. I know school is probably the most superficial example I could come up with, but it's definitely the most difficult aspect of my life at the moment.
In everything, I want to be able to say that I love Christ because of my difficulties. Because I am rewarded by seeing how He gives me strength I could have never found on my own. I don't want to say I love Christ in spite of my difficulties.
"Consider it PURE JOY, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4
Grace and Peace.
I definitely am going to be working harder in the coming weeks to have this outlook on the situations I encounter, especially as classes get going and assignments become difficult. I know school is probably the most superficial example I could come up with, but it's definitely the most difficult aspect of my life at the moment.
In everything, I want to be able to say that I love Christ because of my difficulties. Because I am rewarded by seeing how He gives me strength I could have never found on my own. I don't want to say I love Christ in spite of my difficulties.
"Consider it PURE JOY, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4
Grace and Peace.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
reality and growth
It has been way too long since I've written a blog post...my excuse basically is when I do think of something to write about, I don't have time to write a post or when I do have time to write a post, I'm usually too exhausted to think of something worth writing about. Thankfully I have the time to write this post and I know I need to write it, for me and for several of you who may need to read it.
This post is pretty much going to be me pouring out my heart about my life, what I'm going through and what God is teaching me so...here it goes.
Here's the truth of it:
College. Is. Hard.
It doesn't matter how many AP classes you take, how much you think you want to be out and on your own, how many friends you'll have going with you to the same college, or how prepared you think you are. The transition is HARD. I definitely didn't learn this the easy way.
The first and probably most superficial misunderstanding I had about college was that classes would be easier after the amount of work I did in high school. I took several AP courses and yes, I thankfully have background experience and former knowledge for some of the classes I am in now, but the amount of information you are expected to learn (tons) in the amount of time you have to learn it (not much) makes studying much more demanding and it has challenged me to look at how I manage my time and learn to do the best I can and rely on God for the strength I need to learn what I need to know.
The second thing I've found hard about college would probably be making intentional relationships. I didn't really see this one coming, but I've discovered I really have to remind myself to be intentional when I meet new people because sometimes I get used to having some of my old friends from high school with me (especially at the church I attend here) so when I go to an event or something where I'm not with my friends, I have to branch out. I don't really know why this is so hard for me, but it is. I guess it's because my mind is always elsewhere and I have a hard time reminding myself to really make the most of every opportunity to make new friends or be a witness, but God has really been convicting me recently that I need to be prepared every second of every day to be a witness for Him, whether it's just by saying "hello" or as much as listening to someone pour out their heart when they just need someone to listen.
The biggest thing that I'm having trouble with though would definitely have to be missing my family. I'm not trying to be "goody goody" or anything when I say this...I am completely serious. I guess around the beginning of senior year, I started looking forward to being on my own and I knew I'd be able to come home and visit and it was going to be no big deal and being independent was going to rock and it was just gonna be great. Well, about halfway through senior year we found out about my family's move to England and everything changed. At first, I was completely excited that I would be going there on vacations and things like that, but once the spring rolled around and school was almost over, I realized that everything was about to completely change. Now I already knew about the basic things that were going to change, regardless of whether my family left or not, such as no more pizza and movie nights on Fridays/Saturdays, no more nightly cups of coffee made by dad, and things like that. But then some serious reality hit me. I wasn't coming back home. At least to that house anyway. My family was leaving, I was going off to college, and I wouldn't be coming back to that house again. No weekend trips. No Thanksgiving with them. When I go back to Birmingham, I can only drive by that house, look at the swing in the front yard and remember sitting on it with my family, just enjoying being together, look at the yard that Dad worked so hard to keep clean, see the backyard where I used to watch Trey and Dad throw the baseball or football while I sat outside or did homework and realize I'm never going back. I'm never eating a family meal in that kitchen again. Never decorating my room for Christmas in that house again. I mean I hate to just list all these things and make it sound so depressing but the thing is...the reality of all these things have really hit me hard as I've come to college. I'm definitely working through them and I'm not depressed or anything, but it's really hard to watch friends go home for the weekend or school break and know they get to actually go home. I've definitely had great visits with people who I love dearly, but I've just had to pray hard for some love when it gets tough. I've had a couple of times where I literally was crying before God, sort of asking and yelling about why He would put me through something this hard, but every time I've come to Him, I've felt Him saying, "Don't you see? You're getting distracted. All these things you're missing, they're superficial. They're earthly. They pass away with time, regardless of where your family is. I'm giving you this opportunity to trust in me more. You need to rely on me. You need to give up these things you're holding on to." and I know He's got something big planned for me. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I need to be going through this to learn how to put every ounce of my being in Christ because He is the one who will NEVER leave or forsake me, will ALWAYS love me, will ALWAYS listen to me, and loved me enough to die for me.
This has been a huge reality check for me. All of these areas. And I just want to add that yes, I have seen my family and the visit was wonderful (although brief) but I'm thankful for it and I know they are where God wants them to be just as much as I am where God wants me to be. I'm just still in the stage of God teaching me what He wants me to learn from this experience.
One major thing I've been doing very recently that is immensely helping strengthen my trust in God is memorizing scripture. My sweet boyfriend sent me a link to a website earlier in the semester that has a ton of verses that directly relate to God's promises during times of stress and doubt, so I have been slowly but surely trying to memorize them all. Even if it takes all of college and even more, I'm determined to learn them because even just the first few I've memorized have been wonderful reminders for me to think about throughout the day. The first verse I looked at helped me completely change my perspective on my "sufferings":
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on the Lord because He cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power forever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:6-11.
(I will admit I had to look this up to make sure I got it all in there and remembered parts correctly. Cool thing about memorizing scripture: you can always go back a re-learn the passages for refreshing's sake and even to gain a new perspective on what the verses are saying)
This passage was perfect for this time period in my life because it starts by reminding me to BE HUMBLE! I'm not the only one on the planet going through a hard time and need to be considerate of others who are struggling as well! I also need to humble myself under God's mighty hand as a reminder that I cannot find strength to carry on on my own. I have to let Him work in me to lift me up in due time. Secondly, I have to cast all my anxiety on the Lord. I can't let my stresses bog me down. And I know I can surrender my anxieties to Christ because He loves and cares for me and wants to take care of me! I just have to give it up and let him! Next, it reminds me to be self-controlled, especially with my emotions, and to be on guard. In other words...don't get distracted! The devil wants for me to be put down in these situations. The devil wants me to give up, have a pity party, and yell at God for putting me through this. But that's because the devil knows God is trying to move in me. I have to be on guard if I want God to be the one in control of my life, not earthly distractions placed in the way by the devil. Then I'm reminded that I can stand firm in my faith because my Christian brothers and sisters are undergoing the same kind of sufferings! I'm not alone! This is why I definitely feel like spending time with Christian brothers and sisters is so important because you have the opportunity to love on each other and support one another. And then God promises that after suffering a little while, when I learn what He needed to teach me, I will be able to share with eternal glory in Christ! He will restore me, making me strong, firm and steadfast! What an incredible promise!
Even as I write this post, I am filled with hope for the future and an indescribable feeling of contentment and love that I know can only come from Christ. I am so thankful that He is challenging me to grow and that Lakeview, the church I attend in Auburn and one of the most incredible body of believers, is pouring in to me and challenging me to grow in my faith.
Also I just want to say thank you for prayers and support that I know are being lavishly poured out on me. It means so much, especially when I think about times when I've been ready to just break down but I've felt God pick me up in ways only He can.
"Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not recognize it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." -Isaiah 43:18-19.
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:2
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Grace and Peace.
This post is pretty much going to be me pouring out my heart about my life, what I'm going through and what God is teaching me so...here it goes.
Here's the truth of it:
College. Is. Hard.
It doesn't matter how many AP classes you take, how much you think you want to be out and on your own, how many friends you'll have going with you to the same college, or how prepared you think you are. The transition is HARD. I definitely didn't learn this the easy way.
The first and probably most superficial misunderstanding I had about college was that classes would be easier after the amount of work I did in high school. I took several AP courses and yes, I thankfully have background experience and former knowledge for some of the classes I am in now, but the amount of information you are expected to learn (tons) in the amount of time you have to learn it (not much) makes studying much more demanding and it has challenged me to look at how I manage my time and learn to do the best I can and rely on God for the strength I need to learn what I need to know.
The second thing I've found hard about college would probably be making intentional relationships. I didn't really see this one coming, but I've discovered I really have to remind myself to be intentional when I meet new people because sometimes I get used to having some of my old friends from high school with me (especially at the church I attend here) so when I go to an event or something where I'm not with my friends, I have to branch out. I don't really know why this is so hard for me, but it is. I guess it's because my mind is always elsewhere and I have a hard time reminding myself to really make the most of every opportunity to make new friends or be a witness, but God has really been convicting me recently that I need to be prepared every second of every day to be a witness for Him, whether it's just by saying "hello" or as much as listening to someone pour out their heart when they just need someone to listen.
The biggest thing that I'm having trouble with though would definitely have to be missing my family. I'm not trying to be "goody goody" or anything when I say this...I am completely serious. I guess around the beginning of senior year, I started looking forward to being on my own and I knew I'd be able to come home and visit and it was going to be no big deal and being independent was going to rock and it was just gonna be great. Well, about halfway through senior year we found out about my family's move to England and everything changed. At first, I was completely excited that I would be going there on vacations and things like that, but once the spring rolled around and school was almost over, I realized that everything was about to completely change. Now I already knew about the basic things that were going to change, regardless of whether my family left or not, such as no more pizza and movie nights on Fridays/Saturdays, no more nightly cups of coffee made by dad, and things like that. But then some serious reality hit me. I wasn't coming back home. At least to that house anyway. My family was leaving, I was going off to college, and I wouldn't be coming back to that house again. No weekend trips. No Thanksgiving with them. When I go back to Birmingham, I can only drive by that house, look at the swing in the front yard and remember sitting on it with my family, just enjoying being together, look at the yard that Dad worked so hard to keep clean, see the backyard where I used to watch Trey and Dad throw the baseball or football while I sat outside or did homework and realize I'm never going back. I'm never eating a family meal in that kitchen again. Never decorating my room for Christmas in that house again. I mean I hate to just list all these things and make it sound so depressing but the thing is...the reality of all these things have really hit me hard as I've come to college. I'm definitely working through them and I'm not depressed or anything, but it's really hard to watch friends go home for the weekend or school break and know they get to actually go home. I've definitely had great visits with people who I love dearly, but I've just had to pray hard for some love when it gets tough. I've had a couple of times where I literally was crying before God, sort of asking and yelling about why He would put me through something this hard, but every time I've come to Him, I've felt Him saying, "Don't you see? You're getting distracted. All these things you're missing, they're superficial. They're earthly. They pass away with time, regardless of where your family is. I'm giving you this opportunity to trust in me more. You need to rely on me. You need to give up these things you're holding on to." and I know He's got something big planned for me. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I need to be going through this to learn how to put every ounce of my being in Christ because He is the one who will NEVER leave or forsake me, will ALWAYS love me, will ALWAYS listen to me, and loved me enough to die for me.
This has been a huge reality check for me. All of these areas. And I just want to add that yes, I have seen my family and the visit was wonderful (although brief) but I'm thankful for it and I know they are where God wants them to be just as much as I am where God wants me to be. I'm just still in the stage of God teaching me what He wants me to learn from this experience.
One major thing I've been doing very recently that is immensely helping strengthen my trust in God is memorizing scripture. My sweet boyfriend sent me a link to a website earlier in the semester that has a ton of verses that directly relate to God's promises during times of stress and doubt, so I have been slowly but surely trying to memorize them all. Even if it takes all of college and even more, I'm determined to learn them because even just the first few I've memorized have been wonderful reminders for me to think about throughout the day. The first verse I looked at helped me completely change my perspective on my "sufferings":
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on the Lord because He cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power forever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:6-11.
(I will admit I had to look this up to make sure I got it all in there and remembered parts correctly. Cool thing about memorizing scripture: you can always go back a re-learn the passages for refreshing's sake and even to gain a new perspective on what the verses are saying)
This passage was perfect for this time period in my life because it starts by reminding me to BE HUMBLE! I'm not the only one on the planet going through a hard time and need to be considerate of others who are struggling as well! I also need to humble myself under God's mighty hand as a reminder that I cannot find strength to carry on on my own. I have to let Him work in me to lift me up in due time. Secondly, I have to cast all my anxiety on the Lord. I can't let my stresses bog me down. And I know I can surrender my anxieties to Christ because He loves and cares for me and wants to take care of me! I just have to give it up and let him! Next, it reminds me to be self-controlled, especially with my emotions, and to be on guard. In other words...don't get distracted! The devil wants for me to be put down in these situations. The devil wants me to give up, have a pity party, and yell at God for putting me through this. But that's because the devil knows God is trying to move in me. I have to be on guard if I want God to be the one in control of my life, not earthly distractions placed in the way by the devil. Then I'm reminded that I can stand firm in my faith because my Christian brothers and sisters are undergoing the same kind of sufferings! I'm not alone! This is why I definitely feel like spending time with Christian brothers and sisters is so important because you have the opportunity to love on each other and support one another. And then God promises that after suffering a little while, when I learn what He needed to teach me, I will be able to share with eternal glory in Christ! He will restore me, making me strong, firm and steadfast! What an incredible promise!
Even as I write this post, I am filled with hope for the future and an indescribable feeling of contentment and love that I know can only come from Christ. I am so thankful that He is challenging me to grow and that Lakeview, the church I attend in Auburn and one of the most incredible body of believers, is pouring in to me and challenging me to grow in my faith.
Also I just want to say thank you for prayers and support that I know are being lavishly poured out on me. It means so much, especially when I think about times when I've been ready to just break down but I've felt God pick me up in ways only He can.
"Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not recognize it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." -Isaiah 43:18-19.
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:2
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Grace and Peace.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
man I LOVE this band
ok so I kind of stole Mr. Horton's catch phrase and will now apply it to Auburn's band as well as Vestavia's. I'm going to try to make this blog post as short as possible so I can go to bed but I don't really know what's going to happen once I get writing (it's been a while since my last post!)
Well basically, the past couple of weeks have been REALLY intense, going through band camp and preparing the shows for football season. When camp was first starting, I was having a really hard time seeing the big picture and pushing through all of the hard work that had to take place before band could become fun. (because believe me, a total of 9 hours a day spent in the sun working on music or marching is NOT the most pleasant thing in the world). But tonight made all of the hard work worth while. The AUMB performed at a "band-o-rama" tonight where local high schools came and performed their shows for one another just to enjoy seeing some other band shows. We opened the night with our pre-game show and after all of the high schools performed we did our half-time show for them. It was exciting to do pre-game, just to hear everyone singing the cheers as we played and get excited about football season, but the absolute most amazing part of the night was doing the half-time show for them, the closer in particularly. Our show theme to open football season is based off of winning the National Championship so we start with "On to Victory, Strike Up the Band," then play the Rocky theme "Gonna Fly Now," and close with "We Are the Champions." When we play "We Are the Champions," we face the back of the field and turn around when we get to the chorus and play out (lots of fun) and when we turned around and started playing that tonight, everyone stood up to cheer and applaud. I know I should've expected the crowd's reaction, but it still made me tear up a little bit. Just remembering the first Auburn game I went to and thinking "WOW that band is amazing, it would be a dream come true to be a part of it," and to know that I'm actually a part of it now...it really is incredible. The experience of a lifetime. And now I get to be a part of the band that gave me goosebumps when I was in the audience (of course I still do get goosebumps :) ha)
Basically, I'm really thankful for the chance I've had to be in a great marching band at Vestavia and continue that experience at Auburn. A once in a lifetime opportunity that I'm SO blessed to be a part of.
praising Him for the abilities He has given me and for giving me the strength I've needed whenever I surrender to Him.
"Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil. 3:13-14
"You did awesome things that we did not expect...no ear has heard, no eye has seen any God like you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him. You come to the help of those who gladly do right, who remember your ways." Isaiah 64:3-5
Grace and Peace.
Well basically, the past couple of weeks have been REALLY intense, going through band camp and preparing the shows for football season. When camp was first starting, I was having a really hard time seeing the big picture and pushing through all of the hard work that had to take place before band could become fun. (because believe me, a total of 9 hours a day spent in the sun working on music or marching is NOT the most pleasant thing in the world). But tonight made all of the hard work worth while. The AUMB performed at a "band-o-rama" tonight where local high schools came and performed their shows for one another just to enjoy seeing some other band shows. We opened the night with our pre-game show and after all of the high schools performed we did our half-time show for them. It was exciting to do pre-game, just to hear everyone singing the cheers as we played and get excited about football season, but the absolute most amazing part of the night was doing the half-time show for them, the closer in particularly. Our show theme to open football season is based off of winning the National Championship so we start with "On to Victory, Strike Up the Band," then play the Rocky theme "Gonna Fly Now," and close with "We Are the Champions." When we play "We Are the Champions," we face the back of the field and turn around when we get to the chorus and play out (lots of fun) and when we turned around and started playing that tonight, everyone stood up to cheer and applaud. I know I should've expected the crowd's reaction, but it still made me tear up a little bit. Just remembering the first Auburn game I went to and thinking "WOW that band is amazing, it would be a dream come true to be a part of it," and to know that I'm actually a part of it now...it really is incredible. The experience of a lifetime. And now I get to be a part of the band that gave me goosebumps when I was in the audience (of course I still do get goosebumps :) ha)
Basically, I'm really thankful for the chance I've had to be in a great marching band at Vestavia and continue that experience at Auburn. A once in a lifetime opportunity that I'm SO blessed to be a part of.
praising Him for the abilities He has given me and for giving me the strength I've needed whenever I surrender to Him.
"Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil. 3:13-14
"You did awesome things that we did not expect...no ear has heard, no eye has seen any God like you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him. You come to the help of those who gladly do right, who remember your ways." Isaiah 64:3-5
Grace and Peace.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
blessings, blatant or in disguise
sometimes I forget just how blessed I am. The past few days have served as a refresher for me.
1: A clear blessing -- Both of my grandmothers have been fighting cancer for a while (one was diagnosed several months ago and the other just recently) and a few days ago, my grandmother (Dad's side, the one who was diagnosed earlier) received test results that officially said she is cancer free. Seeing both of my grandmothers deal with cancer has been pretty difficult, but deep down I knew God was watching out for them and was in control, even though it was tough to remember all the time. Knowing that He has completely healed one of my grandmothers is a huge blessing in the midst of a time of change and growth for me. Other than both of my grandmothers being sick, dealing with our family's huge move and preparing to transition to college has started to weigh down on me and having a part of those burdens lifted definitely helps.
**For those reading who have been praying for my grandmothers: I want to sincerely thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Please continue to pray for my mom's mom. God is much bigger than cancer and He hears when we call. Your support means more than you know so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
2: A not-as-clear blessing -- Yesterday I spent some time hanging out with some of my friends and we went to the thrift store, just to look around and shop for a few things. I'd never been to a thrift store and had no idea that I would actually learn some lessons while I was there. First of all, there are some nice things at the thrift store! For instance, I found two Auburn Marching Band shirts made in a material similar to Under Armour that would be used for band practice and was able to buy both for about $6. Why anyone would give those shirts up I don't know, but I'm glad I found them! As I was going through the t-shirt rack and seeing old homecoming and special event t-shirts from areas such as Hoover, Vestavia, Mountain Brook, Gardendale, Oak Mountain, and Homewood, I realized just how much we as the "over the mountain" area take for granted. Some students, whether in poorer areas in Birmingham, around the state, or across the globe, are unable to even have nice events such as prom and homecoming yet we do and seem to think it is a right we are entitled to as high school students. After reading "The Hole In Our Gospel" (which I finally finished at the beach last week), I was able to really get a glimpse of just how difficult getting an education is in poorer parts of the world. Children in Africa end up dropping out of school by 4th or 5th grade usually because they are either needed to help at home, have to help with long distance chores (going to fetch clean water, for example), or sometimes to even take care of siblings after parents die due to AIDS or other diseases. Even as I type this, my heart aches for the children I met in South Africa (who I still refer to as "my babies") who have to work hard just to make sure they stay in school while I sit in America and complain about school more often than I look forward to it and although I work hard to get good grades, I don't worry about getting through to the next grade level. My high school band director used to emphasize to us that band as a program is something to be grateful for and we owe it to the people who can't be in band (because of lack of resources or anything else) to enjoy every moment. I owe it to the children who can't continue their education to make the most of mine and give back through it. This is why my goal is to become a nurse and use nursing as a way to go on mission trips and provide health care to the poor and needy. Some people ask why God allows people to be born in rich communities or poor communities and I've begun to realize that He knows the poor will put their faith in Christ alone because they have nothing else while the rich are given resources to share and provide love and support to those in need, thus teaching the rich how to be good stewards and be faithful.
I'm sorry I've probably gone off on ten different tangents by now but seriously...God gives blessings abundantly. Just look for them, they aren't hard to find.
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." Phil. 4:12-13
"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" John 16:33
"There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land." Deuteronomy 15:11
Grace and Peace.
1: A clear blessing -- Both of my grandmothers have been fighting cancer for a while (one was diagnosed several months ago and the other just recently) and a few days ago, my grandmother (Dad's side, the one who was diagnosed earlier) received test results that officially said she is cancer free. Seeing both of my grandmothers deal with cancer has been pretty difficult, but deep down I knew God was watching out for them and was in control, even though it was tough to remember all the time. Knowing that He has completely healed one of my grandmothers is a huge blessing in the midst of a time of change and growth for me. Other than both of my grandmothers being sick, dealing with our family's huge move and preparing to transition to college has started to weigh down on me and having a part of those burdens lifted definitely helps.
**For those reading who have been praying for my grandmothers: I want to sincerely thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Please continue to pray for my mom's mom. God is much bigger than cancer and He hears when we call. Your support means more than you know so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
2: A not-as-clear blessing -- Yesterday I spent some time hanging out with some of my friends and we went to the thrift store, just to look around and shop for a few things. I'd never been to a thrift store and had no idea that I would actually learn some lessons while I was there. First of all, there are some nice things at the thrift store! For instance, I found two Auburn Marching Band shirts made in a material similar to Under Armour that would be used for band practice and was able to buy both for about $6. Why anyone would give those shirts up I don't know, but I'm glad I found them! As I was going through the t-shirt rack and seeing old homecoming and special event t-shirts from areas such as Hoover, Vestavia, Mountain Brook, Gardendale, Oak Mountain, and Homewood, I realized just how much we as the "over the mountain" area take for granted. Some students, whether in poorer areas in Birmingham, around the state, or across the globe, are unable to even have nice events such as prom and homecoming yet we do and seem to think it is a right we are entitled to as high school students. After reading "The Hole In Our Gospel" (which I finally finished at the beach last week), I was able to really get a glimpse of just how difficult getting an education is in poorer parts of the world. Children in Africa end up dropping out of school by 4th or 5th grade usually because they are either needed to help at home, have to help with long distance chores (going to fetch clean water, for example), or sometimes to even take care of siblings after parents die due to AIDS or other diseases. Even as I type this, my heart aches for the children I met in South Africa (who I still refer to as "my babies") who have to work hard just to make sure they stay in school while I sit in America and complain about school more often than I look forward to it and although I work hard to get good grades, I don't worry about getting through to the next grade level. My high school band director used to emphasize to us that band as a program is something to be grateful for and we owe it to the people who can't be in band (because of lack of resources or anything else) to enjoy every moment. I owe it to the children who can't continue their education to make the most of mine and give back through it. This is why my goal is to become a nurse and use nursing as a way to go on mission trips and provide health care to the poor and needy. Some people ask why God allows people to be born in rich communities or poor communities and I've begun to realize that He knows the poor will put their faith in Christ alone because they have nothing else while the rich are given resources to share and provide love and support to those in need, thus teaching the rich how to be good stewards and be faithful.
I'm sorry I've probably gone off on ten different tangents by now but seriously...God gives blessings abundantly. Just look for them, they aren't hard to find.
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." Phil. 4:12-13
"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" John 16:33
"There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land." Deuteronomy 15:11
Grace and Peace.
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